How to Not Lose Yourself in Motherhood: Tips for Staying True to You

Being a mom is a wonderful thing, and many who are mothers would never change it for anything, but there’s still going to be that nagging feeling that things are different now, and that you’re different, and as you go through all the joy and challenges of motherhood, that feeling can become a problem. 

In the middle of all the things you have to do as a parent, it’s easy to lose sight of your own identity and personal goals, and as time goes on, they’ll get further and further away. That’s why it’s so important to maintain a sense of yourself not only for your own happiness and wellbeing, but so you can set a positive example to your children as well – you wouldn’t want them to lose sight of their goals as they get older, would you? 

With that in mind, keep reading to find out more about how to be yourself when you’re a mom and not to lose yourself in motherhood. Once you know what you can do to make it happen, it will all be far easier to put in place and actually do. Read on to find out more. 

Find Time For Yourself

One thing that’s really important when it comes to being yourself when you’re a mom is to carve out time for yourself to do whatever it is you want to do (and there will be a fair few examples in this blog to think about, plus plenty more that we won’t have time to discuss). Of course, trying to find extra time when you’re responsible for other lives and when you’ve got so much that you have to do each day might not sound easy (it might even sound impossible), but there are a few tricks and tips you can use to get it done. 

One thing you can do is to wake up a little bit earlier if possible. It only has to be 10 minutes or so and during that extra 10 minutes you can write in your journal, apply for a job, do exercise, read, listen to music, and so on. You could even just use the time to think with a clear mind and a quiet house. If getting up earlier isn’t possible, could there be another time during the day when you could have those precious moments to yourself? Perhaps when the kids are eating dinner or doing their homework or taking a nap? The sooner you find time for yourself, the sooner you’ll find something to use that time for and feel like yourself again as a result. 

Go Back Into Education 

Returning to education as a mom can be hugely rewarding and set you off on a brand-new path that you wouldn’t have been able to do without some extra knowledge or even a formal qualification. It’s a way to achieve your goals and see your dreams come true, it gives you many more career opportunities than you’ll have otherwise, and it’s something that’s just for you – although it’s also a great thing for your kids to see you do, as they’ll get the idea that education is important rather than a chore, and they’ll see you working hard and want to do the same, which is great when it comes to their school results. 

As with anything when you’re a mom, whether you’re trying to find yourself again or not, the issue tends to be time, but we’ve already given you a few examples of where you can find some extra time, and since there are online courses you can take, perhaps that’s what you can use that time for. If you need to go to class in person, like you would if you wanted to explore EMT classes, for example, why not ask for help from friends and family or hire a babysitter you can trust? It won’t be every day and if it means you can do a job you’ll love and that you’ve chosen to do, it’s got to be worth it. 

Dress For Yourself

It’s easy to fall into the trap of wearing ‘mom clothes’ that are all about practicality instead of style, and although some people will really like those clothes and love wearing them every day, others – perhaps you – won’t. They’ll wish they were wearing clothes that make them feel good, and essentially they’ll be regretting no longer wearing the clothes they wore before they had a child because those clothes were fun and stylish and suited them perfectly. 

Here’s a question for you, though; where are the rules that say you can’t still wear those clothes? Why do moms have to suddenly change their style and wear clothes they don’t like? The answer is they don’t! Yes, on occasion wearing less than stylish clothes isn’t a bad idea, especially if you’re playing with the kids or on a day trip somewhere and you need to be able to move around exactly as you want to, but on a general day to day basis, one of the best things you can do to be yourself is to wear the clothes you love. Don’t be afraid to dress up, even if it’s just a trip to the grocery store, and invest in a few key pieces that really do reflect your personal style. 

Accessories can make a big difference in how you feel about your outfit, so try to add some jewelry, scarves, or a bag into what you’re wearing every day. The fact is that these small touches can make you feel a lot more glamorous and put together – more like your true self, in other words – even on the busiest days. 

Be Creative 

It’s great to be creative, and creativity in any of its many forms is a wonderful way to show off who you really are underneath the layers that people normally see. As we said, there are many forms when it comes to being creative, so you’re sure to be able to find something that works for you and that you enjoy – it might be that you already have a favorite creative activity but you’ve not done it for years because you became a mom and now you don’t feel you have the time or space you need to do it anymore. Or maybe there’s an artistic challenge you’ve always wanted to try, but you don’t think you can now you’re a mom – you’ve got too many other calls on your time. 

You can probably guess what we’re going to say – just because you’re a mom, that doesn’t mean you can’t (or shouldn’t) be as creative as you want to be and so whatever art you want to do when you’ve got the time to do it (plus, making the time is crucial, and we’ve already suggested a few ways you can do that). 

You could start with journaling if you want an easy way to get into doing creative things – take a few moments before bed each evening to write a little bit about the day you just had. Draw some pictures, stick in some images from a magazine, add some souvenirs from the day like the feather your child found and handed to you or the packet a new flavor of tea came in so you can remember it, or anything else. As time goes on, you’ll find your journal starts to get really interesting and full of little reminders of fun or meaningful things you did, and as you look back, you’ll feel good and be motivated to keep writing. 

That’s just one idea, and there are hundreds more – maybe even thousands. You could paint, draw, take photos, do pottery, write poetry (or start that novel you keep thinking about), play an instrument, and so it goes on – art and creativity are everywhere, so why not take this opportunity to get more into it? Even better, you can share your creations with your children and inspire them to be more creative as well. And, although money isn’t the object here, you might even discover a new career path selling what you make – that’s not going to work for everyone, but it’s potentially something to consider further down the road.